Joke categories
Animal Jokes
At Work
Aviation Jokes
Bar Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Business Jokes
Camping Jokes
Celebrities
Children
Christmas Jokes
Clean Jokes
Computer Jokes
Doctor Jokes
Drunks
Dumb Jokes
Elderly Jokes
Ethnical Jokes
Farming Jokes
Food Jokes
Gender Jokes
Instrument Jokes
Irish Jokes
Job/Office Jokes
Kids Jokes
Language Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Legal
Marriage Jokes
Medicine
Men Jokes
Military Jokes
Miscellaneous
Mom/Dad Jokes
Ouch
Police Jokes
Politics
Real Jokes
Redneck Jokes
Relationships
Religion
School
Science
Situations
Sport Jokes
Stats/Math Jokes
War
Women Jokes
Yo Mama Jokes
More Jokes
|
The bachelor's diet - Food Jokes
 |
The bachelor's diet |
 |
|
| Category |
Food Jokes |
| Total Hits |
77 |
| Rating |
 |
|
The Joke |
|
|
| Bachelor's DietMONDAY:BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maaloxDINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------TUESDAY: BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslawLUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------WEDNESDAY:BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's LUNCH - Rolaids and a cokeDINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps --------------------------------------------------------------------------------THURSDAY:BREAKFAST - Order out for pizzaLUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------FRIDAY:BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------SATURDAY:BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.LUNCH - DittoDINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------SUNDAY:BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie. LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room. |
|
Rate this joke |
|
|
|
|
|
Send this joke to your friends |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
