Joke categories
Animal Jokes
At Work
Aviation Jokes
Bar Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Business Jokes
Camping Jokes
Celebrities
Children
Christmas Jokes
Clean Jokes
Computer Jokes
Doctor Jokes
Drunks
Dumb Jokes
Elderly Jokes
Ethnical Jokes
Farming Jokes
Food Jokes
Gender Jokes
Instrument Jokes
Irish Jokes
Job/Office Jokes
Kids Jokes
Language Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Legal
Marriage Jokes
Medicine
Men Jokes
Military Jokes
Miscellaneous
Mom/Dad Jokes
Ouch
Police Jokes
Politics
Real Jokes
Redneck Jokes
Relationships
Religion
School
Science
Situations
Sport Jokes
Stats/Math Jokes
War
Women Jokes
Yo Mama Jokes
More Jokes
|
Pest-by-Modem - Computer Jokes
 |
Pest-by-Modem |
 |
|
| Category |
Computer Jokes |
| Total Hits |
15 |
| Rating |
 |
|
The Joke |
|
|
| Pest-by-Modem Here's how to be a pest-by-modem:*Make up fake acronyms. On-line veterans like to use abbreviations likeIMHO (in my humble opinion) and RTFM (read the f...... manual) to showthat they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand foranything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse toexplain what they stand for ("You don't know? RTFM").*WRITE ALL YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE PERIODS OR RETURNS SOTHAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE ALSOUSE A LOT OF !!!!!! AND DDOOUUBBLLEESS TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUTBEING HERE!!!!!!!*When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling andpoint out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content oftheir messages. When they respond testily to your 'creative criticism,"do it again. Continue until they go away.*Software and files offered on-line are often "compressed" so that itwon't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compressionprogram and compress everything you send, including one-word E-mailresponses like "Thanks."*Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give themnames like "SexyHouseWives," then see how many people download them.Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-on. Takebets and calculate odds on the results of each upload's popularity.*cc: all your E-mail to Al Gore (vice.president@whitehouse.gov) so thathe can keep track of what's happening on the information SuperhighwayInternet.*Join a discussion group, and tie whatever's being discussed back to anunrelated central theme of your own. For instance, if you're in adiscussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observationthat those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an importantrole. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased aspeople write you threatening messages and instruct all other members toignore you. |
|
Rate this joke |
|
|
|
|
|
Send this joke to your friends |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
